I AM GRATEFUL. Grateful for progress, grateful for the things that are finished that are well-done, grateful for good people who know what they are doing who worked on my house, grateful - oh so grateful - for kiddos who took naps through jackhammers and cement cutters and lots and lots and lots banging, nail guns, hammering, etc. That kept life close to normal and I can't be grateful enough for my wonderful little sleeping Emmie. Camden is phasing out naps, but none of his missed naps can be blamed on the building for which I am also thankful.
January was a month of quotes. It think every week day I had a contractor over here to give me a bid, sometimes multiple contractors in one day. Many of them like to come at dinner time so many a dinner was delayed, thus interrupting the entire evening schedule. That doesn't sound like much but it was. Especially when it happened often. By the end of January I had chosen enough subs to get started. I decided to be my own general and drew up my own to-scale plans and submitted to the city for a permit.
February we started to dig for our walk-out. The weather was awful so Camden and I would sit on top of the washing machine and peek out of the tiny window in our laundry room to watch the fun: diggers, cement trucks (3 different times), back-filling - it was a blast. Almost every day there was something new to see and tell the kids about and it was really fun. There were mishaps - one day a section of our neighbor's fence was broken, another day one of our fence posts gave out due to its close proximity to the gaping hole, a little peach tree took a hit, and we got some nice, deep ruts in our lawn from the cement mixers - but I knew that eventually it would all return to normal and we were making progress. The fence repairs are all done now, the grass is waking up in spring and the ruts don't look so bad, and as we slowly move the mountain of dirt that was displaced, I can tell that our yard will one day recover. The best part is that we LOVE how the new walk-out turned out and our cement guy did a great job.
Framing began mid-March. It was so fun to daily see the rooms downstairs begin to take shape. When we were trying to figure out how to frame the playhouse under the stairs, Camden and I went and sat under the stairs, imagining up what to do and how he could play there. March was also the month for ROCKS. I actually had fun moving rocks from our "dirt (mostly rock) mountian" for the first few hours.
In April, it was time for electrical and that was my first real headache. I didn't realize that there was so much to think about - where do I want outlets in relation to desks, night tables, what lights do I put on which switches, is there enough light in a given space, where do I want to put the switches on the wall, how far apart to space the canned lights.... Then there was a miscommunication and on the big electrical day no one showed up - or called - or answered the phone. Days went by and I finally got a hold of the chief who has taken good care of us, but it wasn't very good on my nerves: On-the-spot decisions, checking over to make sure they remembered everything (and they hadn't), not having any lighting at all in our basement anymore so we use flashlights to retrieve summer clothes, canned food, or to check on the work.
Then we were done and it was time for our 4-way yesterday! I prepped myself that we wouldn't pass so I wouldn't be disappointed. We didn't pass, and I was disappointed. It just felt like too much. I expected a list of small fixes, but instead I had to schedule the engineer to come back out and look over some things. None of it is super huge, but it is a hassle. Why, I asked myself, am I so worked up over this? It will all be worked through. This is what I decided.
It's because the honeymoon is over. There were weeks when I had fun learning about plumbing and electrical and making decisions. Those weeks turned in to months and I am just ready to be a mom again. I have a 3 year old that is acting out and feeling neglected and I don't blame him. Mom has been living with a phone attached to her ear since January! And it's lousy to be in the middle of a game or reading a book and to be told "just a minute" because a contractor needs me to figure something out or I'm needed on the phone. I have been sick 3 times in the last month and no matter how much sleep I get at night or that I took a nap, I can not seem to shake great fatigue. I keep reminding myself that we chose to do this - that we felt strongly that it was time - and I need to be glad. I am glad that our basement will be complete some day. I'm trying to figure out how to be glad during this time when I feel like my mothering responsibilities are being pushed aside as I run the show.
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