Five o'clock

In the last few years of my mother's life, I know that she struggled because she didn't feel useful.  Her health prevented her from being up and about much and thus she was very limited in the ways that she could serve others.  That was a real challenge since service was as natural as breathing for her.  Phone calls and notes were her primary source of reaching out and giving but I am not sure she knew the impact of those little things which she was able to do.

I found that by five o-clock in the afternoon I was often at the end of my rope after caring for little needy people all day and not having much adult interaction, and I think that is when I called my mom the most.  I would start to make dinner and realize I was starved for some adult interaction, or I would just need an emotional boost to keep me going through the day, so I would call my mother.  She would share bits of family news, listen to what was going on in our world halfway across the country, and if I was struggling she would always buoy me up.  Sometimes she would have a suggestion, but often I heard comments like "this too will pass", or "I know you can do it" and it never felt trite coming from her.  I knew she meant it and she believed in me - and in Heavenly Father's ability to help me - and I always felt better.  It's been almost two years since my earthly mother has become my angel mother, and I still feel her influence and aid blessing my life, but I find that I miss her most at five o'clock in the afternoon.  I'm not sure she or I knew at the time how much those phone calls meant to me, but now I can look and see that small things make a big difference, and there is always something that each one of us can give.

 

Hannah with her Grandma - June 2001